Let’s Talk About: Krampus

Posted on February 7, 2018


***Spoiler Warning! If you haven’t seen this confusing piece of shit of a film and wish not to be spoiled, do not read any further!***

Krampus is a Christmas Horror/Comedy film directed by Michael Dougherty (who is set to direct the upcoming Godzilla movie) and released in 2015.
I usually don’t talk about films here but I have done it a few times before, mostly when I’ve talked about their soundtracks and such but this stinker is so confusing and stupid that I felt the need to bring it up.

So who is Krampus?
Well he’s an anthropomorphic creature from Austrian and Bavarian folklore (yeah there are more countries I know) who is one of the companions to Saint Nicholas, and instead of rewarding he punishes and abducts children who have misbehaved.
Pretty simply, so how can you fuck that up?
Let’s look at the story..

It’s about a little boy called Max who’s about to celebrate Christmas with his family and relatives.
He’s written a letter to Santa telling that he only wishes that all the fighting and bullshit within the family could stop so that they could have a Christmas like they use to.
But his jackass of a cousin, Stevie, reads the letter out loud during the dinner and this of course pisses him off to the point where he yells at them, saying that he hates the whole family and in the end tears up the letter.

This in turn pisses Krampus off who starts a blizzard and heads out to hack them all down.
The morning after, Max’s sister Beth heads out to check on her boyfriend and runs into Krampus who after an interesting (but short) chasing scene for some reason leaves a Jack-in-the-box-monster to kill her off.
And the rest of the movie is just everyone else getting hacked to pieces by Krampus and his minions, including Max….

And this is where it all gets confusing to me..
Okay so in the movie we are told by Max’s grandmother that she had a past experience with Krampus (no, not THAT kind of experience…) when she was a child.
We are shown in a cool stop motion clip how they fight and argue to the point where she wishes her parents to go away, and how Krampus and his helpers drags her parents to the underworld, but left her to be reminded of what happens when “hope is lost and believe is forgotten”.

So other than that this has nothing to do with the original Krampus, why did he bother with this bullshit?
Max was never shown to be a bad kid or anything? His cousins are assholes yeah but he never did anything wrong.
Yeah he said he hated his family and ripped up his letter to Santa, but what little kid wouldn’t feel angry and sad after such crap?
He was mocked and ridiculed by some shitheads, and… the whole family has to die for it?
Makes a whole lot of sense.

His sister Beth is the first one to go, but why did she had to die?
She actually seemed like one of the more friendly people in the family. The only thing I can come up with that would have been showing her “losing her Christmas spirit” was that she would rather spend time with her boyfriend than to hang around with brats who apperantly shits in her bed.
Well, I would too if was in love and I had cousins like that.
And while I’m at it I also have to give cred to the actress (Stefania LaVie Owen) who actually do a very good job in this film.

The grandmother, she didn’t have to die?
And why did Krampus toss Max into the fire at the end when he apologises and realizes that he didn’t want this to happen to his family?
Come to think of it.. he didn’t have to apologise for anything and he never wished anything like this happening to his family!
He did say he hated Christmas but that was only because of his cousins behaving like dicks.
Anyone with a half a brain would have figured out that he don’t hate Christmas, he just hates spending it with idiots who are creul to him
His only wish was to have a nice Christmas with his family but he got ridiculed for it?

Let’s talk about the end..
After Krampus throws him into the fire, Max wakes up and finds out that it was all just a dream.
Or so he thought when he opens his present with some Krampus bullshit bell.
So… this whole thing was just Krampus fucking around to teach them not to mock each other?
Wow, a pretty cruel punishment for something as stupid as that.
And why didn’t the grandmother get her parents back? She clearly states that she regretted her wish, was Max so special that he was granted a second chance?

This movie makes no sense at all.
It’s full of so many plot holes and crap that doesn’t add up and I just keep coming up with more as I’m writing and thinking about it.
Even though I’m not a horror movie fan I can still say that despite all it’s flaws Krampus is actually an entertaining movie.
The fact that they used actual people in costumes rather than CGI everything is a huge plus, and the creature itself looks pretty bad ass if you take away his permanent stupid looking grin.
The scene where he’s chasing Beth and she’s hiding under a DHL truck is one of the best in the entire flick thanks to great atmosphere and good acting.

But the overall look and feel of Krampus is really cool and I’ve been told that many people like it so maybe all these flaws can get a pass?
If you try not to think about all the nonsensical crap here.. it is a very entertaining movie, so give it a try if you’re into this kind of stuff.
But the plot is so stupid, they could have made it so much better and consistent.

Photos 3 and 4 by Steve Unwin – © Universal Pictures
All photos (including poster) borrowed from:

Posted in: Övrigt